This is the only thing I was able to
save when those heathens surrounded
me.
BARNARD
(he is allowed to take it out and examine
it – unimpressed)
Uh-huh.
LOVETT
You see, from this vertebrae I shall
be able to reconstruct the entire skeleton.
BARNARD
Wait a minute, you expect to be knighted
for finding that soupbone?
LOVETT
It was the vertebrae of a Megatherium
– found in Asia.
? 480 ?
BARNARD
Yeah, I remember. You said that before.
LOVETT
Sir Henry Derwent was knighted, and
he never got beyond the mesozoic era.
Barnard stares at Lovett unbelievingly.
BARNARD
Ah, poor fellow.
Lovett glares at him resentfully, and
snaps the lid shut on his box.
LOVETT
Yes, it just shows—
(taking offense)
I don’t know why I’m talking to you.
I don’t know you. Who are you?
BARNARD
(turns away)
Okay, brother.
LOVETT
Don’t call me brother.
BARNARD
Okay, sister.
(chuckles to himself)
No offense. No offense!
36. CLOSE SHOT – GLORIA AND BARNARD
Gloria sits slumped in her seat, looking
glumly out. Barnard glances at her curiously.
Finally he makes a friendly overture.
BARNARD
Cigarette?
Gloria turns her head, surveys Barnard
coldly, and without responding, turns
back.
BARNARD
I say, will you have a cigarette?
GLORIA
No.
BARNARD
(unabashed)
Say, you’re an American, aren’t you?
GLORIA
(irascibly)
Say, listen – will you go and annoy
the rest of your playmates? Let me alone!
He shrugs his shoulders and slides back
into his seat.
? 481 ?
37. FULL SHOT
All is silent for a moment. Conway is
writing on a small pad – which he rests
on an uplifted knee. George is rummaging
through a closet – rear of the cabin.
38. MED. SHOT – GEORGE AND CONWAY
Conway still writes, undisturbed. George
reaches into the closet and emerges
with a bottle of whiskey. His face lights
up.
GEORGE
(holds up bottle)
Hello! Look what I found!
He crosses to Conway.
GEORGE
Just what I needed too.
CONWAY
(looks up – smiling)
You?
GEORGE
Just this once, Bob. I feel like celebrating.
Just think of it, Bob – a cruiser sent
to Shanghai just to take you back to
England. You know what it means.
(hands him cup)
Here you are. Don’t bother about those
cables now. I want you to drink with
me.
(holds his cup up)
Gentlemen, I give you Robert Conway
– England’s new Foreign Secretary.
Conway watches him, amused. George gulps
down his drink.
CONWAY
(after a slight hesitation – downing
his drink)
Hurray!
GEORGE
How I’m going to bask in reflected glory!
(dreamily)
People are going to point to me and
say, “There goes George Conway – brother
of the Foreign Secretary.”
CONWAY
Don’t talk nonsense. Give me the bottle.
Conway takes the bottle from him and
pours himself a second drink.
GEORGE
That’s why they’re sending for you,
Bob. With all these foreign entanglements,
it was bound to happen. They need you.
Conway, with a poured drink in hand,
laughs.
GEORGE
All right, you can laugh if you want
to. But who else can they get? Who else
is there in all of England half the
fighter, half the diplomat, who
? 482 ?
has half your knowledge of the foreign
situation? They can’t stop you now,
Bob.
Conway moodily pours himself a third.
He downs the drink as we
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. PLANE
39. CLOSE SHOT OF CONWAY
We find Conway, asleep in his seat,
his head on his hands. George approaches
and tenderly spreads a jacket over his
shoulders. Conway stirs, opens an eye.
CONWAY
(drunkenly)
Hello, Freshie. Did you make that report
out yet?
GEORGE
Yes, Bob.
CONWAY
Did you say we saved ninety white people?
GEORGE
Yes.
CONWAY
Hurray for us. Did you say that we left
ten thousand natives down there to be
annihilated? No, you wouldn’t say that.
They don’t count.
GEORGE
You’d better try to get some sleep,
Bob.
CONWAY
Just you wait until I’m Foreign Secretary.
Can’t you just see me, Freshie, with
all those other shrewd, little Foreign
Secretaries?
(confidentially – screws up face)
You see, the trick is to see who can
out-talk the other. Everybody wants
something for nothing, and if you can’t
get it with smooth talk, you send an
army in. I’m going to fool them, Freshie.
I’m not going to have an army. I’m going
to disband mine. I’m going to sink my
battleships – I’m going to destroy every
piece of warcraft. Then when the enemy
approaches we’ll say, “Come in, gentlemen
– what can we do for you?” So then the
poor enemy soldiers will stop and think.
And what will they think, Freshie? They’ll
think to themselves – “Something’s wrong
here. We’ve been duped. This is not
according to form. These people seem
to be quite friendly, and why should
we shoot them?” Then they’ll lay down
their arms. You see how simple the whole
thing is? Centuries of tradition kicked
right in the pants—
(pause – drily)
—and I’ll be slapped straight into the
nearest insane asylum.
He starts to pour himself another drink.
? 483 ?
GEORGE
